• Blog
    • All Posts
    • Write for Salt + Sparrow
    • Contributors
  • Spiritual Growth
    • Personal Testimonies
    • Spiritual Growth Scriptures
  • Devotionals
    • Bible Studies
    • Prayers
  • Christian Lifestyle
    • Christian Poetry
    • Motherhood
    • Purpose
  • Christian Resources
    • Christian Blogging Tips

Salt + Sparrow

Light in the darkness
Spiritual Growth

A Light in the Darkness

October 22, 2021

The following words are raw. They are real. They are me.

Today while sitting at my desk, I happened to look up at my bulletin board full of kid art, cards, letters, notes and other treasure troves of memories and love. A card written by my Mother caught my attention, so I unpinned it and began to read. 

The ink has faded as it is nearly eight years old. I think back to September 2014 and how different my life was at that time. I was going through a devastating loss and to say my world was turned upside down would be the understatement of the century.

I hesitate to provide personal details but let’s just say nearly everything I held dear to me was changed, altered, stripped away, and left in shambles on the floor of my life’s previously comfortable, happy, content existence. 

I was at the lowest point of my life. I remember crying in my closet so that my 3 year-old son would not hear and that I would not wake the baby from the 15-25 minute nap I worked nearly an hour and a half for. I cried out to God. I really didn’t know what to say and I especially didn’t know what to pray. I was angry at Him for allowing my life to be turned upside down and blamed Him for feeling confused, heartbroken, alone, and misunderstood.

Yet, I prayed.

Not so much prayed as blubbered, shouted, sometimes cursed and just said the name Jesus over and over again, longing for a sense of relief from the internal pain. 

“In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.”

Romans 8:26 (NIV)

There is a verse in the Bible that refers to the Spirit interceding when we simply have no words. I had never actually encountered the intervention of the Spirit in this way. At the absolute weakest point of my life when I felt unwanted, unloved, and abandoned, there arrived a sense of peace in my soul that defied every plausible explanation. 

“And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:7 (NIV)

I tell people to this day that I experienced the spirit, presence, peace, and love of the Lord during that time. I have not experienced it that strongly since. But I know I will again. That is just the way life works. However, going into the storm does not seem as scary now. Because I know, I experienced, I lived, the most tornadic, heart-rendering, destructive storm of my life. 

Yet. 

I was not alone. My faith grew so much during that time. I never thought I would say this, but I am actually thankful for the pain I suffered.

I look at this note of encouragement where my Mother lovingly writes, I hope you find your happy again…..we pray for you every day, and I can feel the sting of fresh tears spring to my eyes.

Tears because I have found happiness.

Tears because I rose up out of those horrible ashes.

Tears because I know now that life is not about your dreams coming true and everything going the way you planned and being white-fence picture perfect. 

Life is about accepting challenges and learning to find happiness in the midst of the heartache that surrounds us every day. I think back to that girl I was nearly eight years ago. She seems like a stranger.

I hurt for her. I hurt for what I know she went through and the intense pain she faced that she does not like to talk about. I also know that she was never alone at that time and never will be alone. She can face anything; because she already has! She is an overcomer and I am proud of her. No, she did not do it alone.

Her broken spirit was strengthened, honed, chiseled, and sculpted into what she is now. That girl is thankful for the good, the bad, the hurt, the pain, the happiness, and even the countless tears. She is thankful for it all; because otherwise she would not be who she is today. 

The broken are often the most beautiful, their tears mapping out a journey of pain. With healing allowing them to tell their story. The empathy they feel for others because they have been there. 

Brokenness is beautiful. Please do not hide it! Share it with others and witness the immeasurable amount of love that comes back to you. 

A Light in the Dark
3 Comments
Share
Manndi Wilkins

Manndi Maphies DeBoef works at the UMKC School of Pharmacy and as a freelance writer in her spare time. Her greatest passion is being a boy mom to her two rambunctious, creative, endearing sons, William, age 11 and Waylan, nearly 9. Her sons never fail to provide daily entertainment, which inspires many of her writings. She also loves to write about everything from being a single mom and dating after divorce to finding love later in life, the devastation of miscarriage, the loss of a loved one and starting over. Her pieces are lovingly filled with inspiration, encouragement and always a touch of humor. “Live a life others wish to read about.”

Leave a Comment Cancel Comment

The Comments

  • Ellie Hunja
    October 23, 2021

    This is truly beautiful. Thank you for sharing this testimony!

    Reply
    • Salt & Sparrow
      Ellie Hunja
      October 23, 2021

      ❤️❤️ Thank you, Ellie! Manndi’s words were so beautiful and I’m so thankful she shared them with us!

      Reply
    • Manndi DeBoef
      Ellie Hunja
      November 22, 2021

      Thank you so much for reading. Many blessings to you!

      Reply

You May Also Like

April 11, 2023

Encouragement from a Doubting Thomasina

September 8, 2022

I Scratch Your Back, You May Not See Fit to Scratch Mine…

November 1, 2021

The Sad Sunflower: What Sunflowers Can Teach Us About Community

Grab your coffee and stay awhile

Welcome to Salt + Sparrow, a place where we learn about Jesus, the Bible, and find big faith in small things.

Amen 🙏🏻 @hertrueworth #faithquotes #christ Amen 🙏🏻 @hertrueworth 

#faithquotes #christianmoms #truth #blessed #relationshipwithgod #prayer #christianmomma #christianlifestyle #christianity #faithblogger #christianmother #faithinmotion #faithblog #christianliving #christians #momsoffaith #biblestudy #jesusalways #faith #bibleverse #pray
Every single person you meet was created by, and l Every single person you meet was created by, and loved by God. 

Even the ones who have hurt you. 

Next time you’re tempted to act out in anger, or envy, or hurt.. stop for a moment and think.. how would Jesus behave in this situation? 

Learning to respond to others for who they are rather than what they’ve done… or the emotion their actions have triggered in you, will bring you peace and freedom. 

💛
.
.
.
.
.
#faithblogger #christianblogger #christianwomen #christianlifestyle
I was recently gifted the book, Grit Don’t Quit: I was recently gifted the book, Grit Don’t Quit: Developing Resilience and Faith When Giving Up Isn’t an Option, by Bianca Juarez Olthoff. And it couldn’t have come into my life at a better time.

I think we’ve all gone through times in our life when failure has threatened to keep us down. When getting back up after yet another fall feels seemingly impossible.

And I hate to break it to you, but we will all face failure at some point in our lives. Sometimes repeatedly. But the really amazing thing about failure is that it give us options:

We can either let failure destroy our confidence and our faith and keep us from living up to our full potential.

Or we call view failure as another chance.

Embracing failure is a concept that may be difficult to adopt at first, but when we can view failure as a learning opportunity and quickly get back up on our feet, we win. It’s also a chance to turn to God and say hey.. here’s my weakness. And it’s only through our weaknesses that we can turn to God and find His strength.

So.. are you going to change the way you view failure? Or are you going to let it hold you back?

@biancaolthoff 

I'll link a giveaway for this book in stories so go check it out there!

#gritdontquit #gritdontquitbook #bookstagram #grit #christianbooks
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11 NIV

"This verse isn’t promising that bad things won’t happen. It simply reminds us nothing can touch us when we live in Christ Jesus. We might experience loss and hardship, but our ultimate destination is heavenly perfection. 

So today, if you are living consumed with fear, practice surrender.

Take a deep breath and know that no matter what, you are loved and you will be ok.

God is Big Enough to hold our biggest hurts and make them beautiful." 

@mrsheidivegh 

#christianmomma #christians #christianlifestyle #faithblogger #christianmother #faithblog #faithquotes #relationshipwithgod #faithinmotion #prayer #christianliving #christianmoms #momsoffaith #truth #christianity #blessed
Follow on Instagram

Currently Praying For

Currently Praying For

Nashville

Shop Our Favorites

Bible Study Tools

She Who Is - Christian Apparel

Christian Growth Hub

Truly Simply Healthy

Daily Grace Co.

Bible Studies

Blog

Recent Posts

  • a woman praying

    Devotional: An Answered Prayer

    September 19, 2023
  • A woman and her dog

    Standing Boldly in Truth: I’m a Dog Person

    September 14, 2023
  • training wheels for a child's bike

    Putting on Our Wisdom Training Wheels

    September 12, 2023
  1. Laura Bennet on Devotional: An Answered PrayerSeptember 21, 2023

    I love how God uses pain to draw us to him. So often I do things to alleviate the pain,…

  2. Sandy Brannan on Devotional: An Answered PrayerSeptember 20, 2023

    Amen!

  3. Jamie on When God Asks You to Surrender ControlAugust 29, 2023

    Pam, yes, His ways are always better! Thank you for the comment ❤️

  4. Pam Booher on When God Asks You to Surrender ControlAugust 22, 2023

    So good Jamie!! I need to remember this too… surrendering is so FREEING!! Thank you for the reminder that God’s…

  5. Angel Baker on Dancing with JoyAugust 19, 2023

    Love this!

Matthew 28:20 CSB

"...And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

About

Amen 🙏🏻 @hertrueworth #faithquotes #christ Amen 🙏🏻 @hertrueworth 

#faithquotes #christianmoms #truth #blessed #relationshipwithgod #prayer #christianmomma #christianlifestyle #christianity #faithblogger #christianmother #faithinmotion #faithblog #christianliving #christians #momsoffaith #biblestudy #jesusalways #faith #bibleverse #pray
Every single person you meet was created by, and l Every single person you meet was created by, and loved by God. 

Even the ones who have hurt you. 

Next time you’re tempted to act out in anger, or envy, or hurt.. stop for a moment and think.. how would Jesus behave in this situation? 

Learning to respond to others for who they are rather than what they’ve done… or the emotion their actions have triggered in you, will bring you peace and freedom. 

💛
.
.
.
.
.
#faithblogger #christianblogger #christianwomen #christianlifestyle
I was recently gifted the book, Grit Don’t Quit: I was recently gifted the book, Grit Don’t Quit: Developing Resilience and Faith When Giving Up Isn’t an Option, by Bianca Juarez Olthoff. And it couldn’t have come into my life at a better time.

I think we’ve all gone through times in our life when failure has threatened to keep us down. When getting back up after yet another fall feels seemingly impossible.

And I hate to break it to you, but we will all face failure at some point in our lives. Sometimes repeatedly. But the really amazing thing about failure is that it give us options:

We can either let failure destroy our confidence and our faith and keep us from living up to our full potential.

Or we call view failure as another chance.

Embracing failure is a concept that may be difficult to adopt at first, but when we can view failure as a learning opportunity and quickly get back up on our feet, we win. It’s also a chance to turn to God and say hey.. here’s my weakness. And it’s only through our weaknesses that we can turn to God and find His strength.

So.. are you going to change the way you view failure? Or are you going to let it hold you back?

@biancaolthoff 

I'll link a giveaway for this book in stories so go check it out there!

#gritdontquit #gritdontquitbook #bookstagram #grit #christianbooks
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11 NIV

"This verse isn’t promising that bad things won’t happen. It simply reminds us nothing can touch us when we live in Christ Jesus. We might experience loss and hardship, but our ultimate destination is heavenly perfection. 

So today, if you are living consumed with fear, practice surrender.

Take a deep breath and know that no matter what, you are loved and you will be ok.

God is Big Enough to hold our biggest hurts and make them beautiful." 

@mrsheidivegh 

#christianmomma #christians #christianlifestyle #faithblogger #christianmother #faithblog #faithquotes #relationshipwithgod #faithinmotion #prayer #christianliving #christianmoms #momsoffaith #truth #christianity #blessed
God had already been speaking to me for some time God had already been speaking to me for some time about how my desire to control the details and direction of my life was getting in the way of my trust in Him and my submission to Him.

The fear of not being in control had stolen my contentment, joy, and peace. So many opportunities and relationships had been strangled or suffocated due to the struggle for control.

The Lord had been directing me to practice putting my full trust in Him.

While I used to spend much of my energy worrying and controlling, God began teaching me to put all of that effort into trusting Him instead.

Friends, as I look back over my life, I cannot think of one time that I regret surrendering to God and yielding control to Him. Was it difficult and painful? Indeed it was.

Did I take it back untold times, having to surrender again and again? You bet.

But this I’ve discovered: as we lean into our powerlessness and His sovereignty, we experience new levels of freedom and joy.

Once upon a time, I would have thought that losing control was the worst thing that could happen to me. Now I know that releasing it was what I needed most.

Prayer: Holy Spirit, help me to yield this new area of control to you– I surrender myself and all of my brokenness. Guide me and remind me each day to put my full effort into trusting You.

@jamiedesilvia 

Full post on saltsparrow.com

 #pray #faith #prayer #bibleverse #biblestudy #bibleversedaily #faithinmotion #faithblogger #christianmomma #jesusalways #faithblog #faithquotes #christianmoms #christianmother #christianlife #christianlifestyle #momsoffaith #christianliving #relationshipwithgod #christians #faithbased #momswhoreadthebible
Follow on Instagram

  • Home
  • About
  • Contact
  • Disclaimer
  • Contributors

Copyright © 2023 Salt + Sparrow. All Rights Reserved.Site Powered by Pix & Hue.