After a wild night of tromping through the neighborhood adjacent to ours (they have better candy), for what felt like five and a half hours, but was really only 47 minutes, my two sons hit the motherload of Halloween candy. My oldest son, Liam’s bag, was eight pounds, and my youngest, Waylan’s, was five pounds (yes, they weighed them, with my old-school 70s inspired floral bathroom scale).
EVERYTHING is a competition with boys…
After spending the remainder of the evening with their stash spread all over the living room floor, trading and bartering for each brother’s beloved candy, I finally had to cut off the highly addictive sugary bliss as it was getting late and they had school the next day.
The next day, after school, as my youngest was sitting at the desk doing his homework, in between mouthfuls of Snickers, Twix, and Swedish Fish, he said to me, “Mom. I have decided you can have one piece of my candy per day. If you are feeling ‘snacky’.”
I blankly stared at this child, whom I brought into the world, after carrying him in my own body for what felt like seven years, and said, “Wow. That’s very….ahem, charitable of you.”.
Thinking to myself how nearly insulting it was to be offered one single solitary piece of candy per day, when minutes before, I literally saw this same child, with his whole head inside the pillowcase in which he is storing his massive candy stash.
And then it hit me. I am no different.
My precious Savior, Jesus, gave His absolute ALL for me. He gave His very life to save me from the pitfalls of selfish sin that daily ensnare me.
I wonder if He feels the same way when I mindlessly offer an hour of my time on Sunday morning, or perhaps a random act of kindness to ward off the guilt I feel after over-zealously spending too much money, or the number of other minuscule offerings in attempts to please my Heavenly Father?
When in reality, He does not need a single thing from me. He simply desires all of me. My heart, my hurts, my pain, my joy, my excitement, my thanksgiving, my time, my talents, my hopes, and my dreams. He simply wants me…the good, bad, warts, ugly, shining, beautiful, forgiven, and struggling.
Yet.
Time and time again, I am no different than my precious child, offering the tiniest bit of attention I can muster, and holding back the remainder, selfishly trying to satisfy my earthly desires in a way that produces anything but satisfaction.
Dear Lord, forgive me for holding on to those empty calories of gluttonous self-centeredness. Help my desire for you to grow each day. And to fully come to fruition as I come to know the joy of giving you my all. The way you so selflessly did, hanging on that cross, with your arms wide open, as a sign of selfless love; the likes of which, the world has never known.
