How to Let Go of Perfectionism as a Christian

At some point in our walk with God, we start to measure ourselves against a standard to determine how “good” a Christian we are, or compare ourselves to a perfectly curated faith-based feed that leaves us feeling as though we are lacking. We measure our worth to our “works,” forgetting that the whole premise of the Christian walk is faith and grace.

We obsess over how well we uphold spiritual disciplines; Bible reading, praying, attending church, and forget their true purpose in our lives.

As a result, we feel burdened by our faith walk because we are running a race we were never meant to run.

But the thing to remember is that God calls us to faithfulness, not perfection. And it’s time we embrace that grace.

Learn to Embrace God’s Grace in Everyday Life

It’s key to remember that every single one of us is a work in progress. Our sanctification won’t be complete until the day of Jesus Christ (Philippians 1:6 NIV), which means we will never reach our full potential here on earth.

Striving for perfection is therefore pointless. We will always fall short if we strive to meet God’s standards by our own strength. God’s grace is what empowers us to do good (2 Corinthians 9:8 NKJV).

Yes, we are called to be like Christ. However, transformation is the work of the Holy Spirit. We only need to be willing and obedient.

Our “imperfections” as human beings are not flaws in God’s eyes. They are an opportunity for us to walk humbly and for God to be glorified. His strength is made perfect in weaknesses (2 Corinthians 12:9 NKJV).

This means we need to learn how to replace the pressure, anxiety, and sense of never being “enough” that perfectionism brings with grace, patience, and trust in God. In doing so, we can strive to lean on His power rather than our own efforts.

Remember… God’s grace meets you where you are, not where you think you should be.

Replace Self-Criticism with Truth from Scripture

When we get sucked into the loop of perfectionism, we find ourselves plagued with self-doubt, fear or failure, and ironically, inaction. But this isn’t God’s plan for us. Instead, He wants us to be fruitful (John 15:8 NIV). He exhorts us to be diligent with our talents (Proverbs 12:24 NIV).

But more often than not, perfectionism keeps us from doing the very thing we were called to do. We act like the third servant of the parable of talents. Out of fear of being less than perfect, we become so stuck by analysis paralysis that we end up becoming nothing (Matthew 25:14-30 NIV).

If we’re not careful, we start to allow our thoughts to become the biggest hindrance in becoming who God created us to be. To overcome that, practice:

● Recognizing the Lies and Renew Your Mind: Identify anything that sows doubt, whether it makes you question God’s Word, your value, or your identity in Christ. Replace those lies with scriptural truths (Romans 12:2; Psalm 139:14 NIV). Feed yourself with the Word of God so that your whole being may recognize and believe what God says about you, His purpose for your life, and His everlasting love.

● Speaking Life Over Yourself: When doubt comes, speak the Word of God. Don’t indulge the lie, don’t entertain it. As soon as it arrives, cast it out. Place scripture around your home and environment so you can reach for it when needed.

● Remembering That God Loves You: We love because He first loved us (1 John 4:19 NIV). We cannot out-love God. There is nothing that can separate us from His love, because it is eternal (Romans 8:35-39 NIV). It’s important to also remember that there is nothing that you can do to earn God’s love. He loves you as you are. You don’t have to strive for it; it’s already yours.

While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. God’s love and approval are not dependent on our works and performance.

Shift from Performance-Driven Faith to Relationship-Driven Faith

Perfectionism makes our walk with God performance/work-based instead of relationship/love-driven.

We work because we want to earn God’s approval, and if we fail, we immediately expect God’s judgment and punishment. Yet, the Word tells us that perfect love drives out fear (1 John 4:18 NIV).

Our service unto God should stem from a place of love, acceptance, and humility:

● Get to Know God: You cannot serve God well without truly knowing Him. If you only focus on checking spiritual boxes, your work will be in vain (Psalm 127:1 NIV). God is a Being. He desires and craves relationships and intimacy with us. He went to the cross to enter into fellowship with us. Therefore, striving to do what is right without truly knowing Him is pointless. Let go of the doing and focus on nurturing a relationship with your heavenly Father. The service will naturally flow from that and won’t be burdensome (1 John 5:3 NIV).

● Embrace Rest: God calls us to peace and rest, where we cease striving (Psalm 46:10 NIV). If we are chasing perfection, we will never be at rest.

● Trust and Surrender: Lean not on your own understanding (Proverbs 3:5 NIV). Chasing perfection implies wanting to control everything and have everything the way we envision it. Conversely, we are called to live by faith, not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7 NIV). Unknown and uncertainty come with the territory.

We can’t control what we don’t know, so let go and trust God in totality.

Lean on Prayer and Community for Encouragement

Surrendering control to God and letting go of perfectionism is hard. But He is able to bring you to that place of rest and grace:

● Turn to Him in Prayer: He knows what you need before you even ask (Matthew 6:8 NIV), but ask Him anyway. This allows you to hear and receive what He has for you. Make prayer a daily habit. Rely on Him for everything. Don’t try to do and fix everything yourself. When you are struggling in one area, bring it to Him, He will receive you.

● Seek Community: It is not good for us to be alone (Genesis 2:18 NIV). We are meant to do life together to carry each other’s burdens (Galatians 6:2 NIV). Find encouragement, support, and fellowship within a Christian community. Practice and receive grace from your brothers and sisters in Christ.

Walk in Grace

Perfectionism makes walking with God seem like a burden. Though the walk is not easy, and we will face trials, it is not meant to be done in our own strength.

God makes provision for us. His grace is available to us. We can take His hand and walk with Him. We can cease striving and rest in His love.

Remember that God values the relationship, not the routine. When you mess up, repent instead of beating yourself up. Release the burden of doing everything “right” and come to God as you are. He will receive and strengthen you. Choose gratitude and contentment over perfection.

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