At the beginning of January, a lot of people choose a word that will define their year ahead.
For me, I choose my word at the end of the year.
I see what word comes up time and time again that God has revealed to me throughout the year, one that resonates with my heart and teaches me things, one that aligns with things going on in my life and one that just feels right.
This year that word has been surrender.
There is a little prayer room at my job that I visit often.
God hears our prayers anywhere, but this little room has become a haven and familiar place where I can quiet my mind and open my soul fully to the Lord.
I sat in this room pouring out my heart in the beginning of the year as I struggled through a rough pregnancy, and I sat in this room a few months and a few scares later after my son was born happy and healthy into this world.
Most recent, I sat in this room praying and pleading as my dad unexpectedly got sick only a few weeks into his only grandson’s life, and only a few years into his only granddaughter’s life.
A stage 4 cancer diagnosis and 3 strokes within three weeks weakened my once strong dad, and way too soon we had to say goodbye. I was not ready.
Once again, I sat in this room, my heart fresh and raw with sadness, not fully understanding and accepting the pain and suffering we as humans must endure but surrendering to God none the less.
Surrendering to Him through my own physical pain, surrendering to Him while watching a loved one suffer, surrendering to Him when life is good and especially when life is bad.
Surrendering yourself over to God isn’t a one time thing, it’s an everyday thing.
Right now, there are many people I know going through hard and painful seasons.
Let us not lose faith and hope and instead lean on God to see us through.
Let us be thankful for the people and blessings we have left in our lives and cherish them to the fullest.
I feel there is so much we can’t possibly understand; about this world, about Heaven… but shutting out God during the difficult times is not the answer.
Hitting the floor on our knees and giving everything over to Him is.
He is still good even when things don’t go the way we want or when we just don’t understand.
Being in this room in prayer during celebration and during loss, as well as just during an ordinary day has shown me the importance of truly surrendering myself over in things I can’t control and trusting in God to lift me up no matter what.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”Proverbs 3:5-6