Setting Healthy Boundaries From a Biblical Perspective: Why Boundaries Are Part of Our Total Wellness

As a Christian Wellness Coach, boundaries are one thing that I recommend for anyone to achieve their goals and become their better self.

Setting boundaries is one of those things that anyone can do because it’s inexpensive (most of the time free), practical, and powerful – and can be done anywhere.

I struggled with boundaries in the past and sometimes even felt a bit of guilt when it came to implementing them. It wasn’t easy for me to just say no or ask for more time and space away from everyone else.

As I did, I found that I had more time for myself and the things that matter to me the most. And of course there was room to spend more time in God’s word. 

When I made these changes, I first outlined what my values were. Then I implemented the boundaries that would allow me to live according to what I value. 

Jesus found his disciples this way too. In Matthew 4:18-22 He personally selected two people that He identified as having the skills to also help Him become what God called Him to be.

He identified that He was going on a journey and needed specific people in His life that also shared His values.

Outline what it is you want to become or achieve. Understand that you do need certain people and resources around you to get there. You can use a flow chart or create a faith-based vision board to map out how this looks, or alternatively opt for a chart as well as a list. 

Setting standards is an important tool for self-care or personal growth in general. Boundaries provide structure in our lives and can help us assert our rights and set limits on how much we are willing to give or take from others.

The three Hebrew boys in the Bible had to set a standard and decide that no matter what, they would not bow (Daniel 3). Sometimes it can really be that simple. 

You will need discipline because setting and maintaining boundaries can be difficult. It requires you to be assertive, and confront people if needed. You must think about your own feelings and needs, consider how to diplomatically articulate boundaries, and be willing to stand up for yourself accordingly.

The first step to setting boundaries is to know yourself. This is especially useful for navigating relationships with challenging people. Whether it be a relative, neighbor, or colleague, you can help to avoid drama and emotional turmoil down the line by standing up for yourself.

When you decide to communicate your standards with someone, it is important to try and maintain a professional tone. Explain to the other person why it is important to you. Ask if they have questions and listen to their response.

Another thing – try to remain calm and provide examples to illustrate your position. You want the other person to understand why they should respect your standards.

Of course, it is also important to be flexible and be ready to renegotiate boundaries from the other party  if necessary.

This may be in the workplace or in a marriage. Show empathy and understanding and be gracious while demonstrating respect and patience. Esther had to do this in the Bible. Although she knew she would have been killed, she respected the king’s boundaries and presented her plea to him (Esther 6-9). She set boundaries throughout her entire time in that kingdom as well and ended up being chosen to be Queen after Vashti.

Since setting out my own boundaries, I can really say that I’ve noticed a major difference and I’d recommend you do the same.

It’s never too late to make changes in life and decide that your boundaries are a part of your overall wellness. This is a super simple way to get started and most importantly, stay on track. 

At the end of the day, remember that you’re allowed to draw your own personal lines and stick to them. You don’t owe people explanations or the chance to negotiate them back with you. Trust your gut and trust God! 

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